I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
