Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize