So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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