I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
