evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
