the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
