only you would photoshop your dick
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
