I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
