If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My hand turned me down
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have fence marks all over my body
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
