Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
