o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
if only i could text you this smell
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
