Duck Duck Cougar?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
