I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
