also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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