The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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