I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
