Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
