I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she peed on how many people?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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