wat bout pragnant strippers??
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
