and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
