I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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