onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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