Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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