the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
