Pants 0. Shit 1.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I understand Curling. That high.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
