Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
