I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize