We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
