Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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