would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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