how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
