My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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