last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
