That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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