Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
