guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
