I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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