SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
