He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
