i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize