the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
