Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
