this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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