Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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