My hand turned me down
You smell like a Billy Joel song
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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