The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize