This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
