dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
