Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
