I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
