drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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