I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
