so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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