lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
