do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
