Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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