i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
