i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
its liver damage thursday
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
