he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize