Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize