let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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