its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
