Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
