She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize