I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
