Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
