In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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