this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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