I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
