i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize