yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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