im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
